I almost didn't commit to a word this year. So many words bubbled up for me (deep and joy, most notably) that I considered simply being more open to my intuition and pivoting in a new direction when needed.
However, I realized that pivoting on-the-fly is a skill that needs practice and cultivation. I can't flip a switch and suddenly become more easy-going. (Wouldn't that be great, though?)
I went back to the drawing board. Then, on one long car ride in the dark I started leafing through words on an imaginary rolodex. This one? No. This one? No. This one? Eh, maybe. This one? Yes, that's it.
When I came to grow, I almost dismissed it. It seemed too simple, not deep or profound enough. Space was so lofty, how could I "regress" to something like grow?
This unease drew me in. Perhaps I was being dismissive because I was nervous, afraid that it might take effort to, you know... grow.
I knew that intentional effort is what I most needed after a year of space-creating. Deep had resonated so much because I feel like I need to grow roots in many ways. But, it didn't capture the evolution (and elevation) into greater joy I also want to experience.
Grow, however, seemed just perfect in that spot-on and totally uncomfortable way.
Growth is beautiful. Growth is messy.
Growing is as much about active, energy-consuming blossoming as it is about patient, energy-restoring rest.
Last year space helped me clear the fields, so that I could plant seeds of possibility. This year I'm eager and ready to nurture growth in myself, my family (No, not pregnant or planning to be!), and my business.
Grow up. This is about personal responsibility and making myself a priority. I can't deny that it's related to turning 35. I am in control of how I feel. I limit myself - and my own joy - with excuses.
Grow deeper. This is about feeling connected to people and places - and is definitely a next phase of the work I began last year. I made lots of space-clearing changes to make this more possible in 2015.
Grow intentionally. This is about doing the work to grow my business - and doing it with thoughtfulness and persistence. I need to dig in and get my hands dirty to nurture this next phase into being.
As in the past, I plan to blog throughout the year on topics related to my word. I'm also working on a post related to my memory keeping plans for the year, in which you'll see how I'm seamlessly incorporating grow into my 2015 album.
One Little Word is a reflective personal project by Ali Edwards. Click here to see more posts about my own words.